Hornswaggling the Apu Nation!

That’s right its a sad sad day to find out that Dunasty is deliberatley trying to Hornswaggle all you little Apusters.  In an obvious attempt to prevent the Great Apu from capturing evidence of an obvious beat down, Dunasty has taken to some very nasty habits.  As you can see from the last couple of post the full wrath of Apu has not been played out.  Why is that you may ask… well it happens to be that in a very cowardly fashion Dunasty likes to wait until the Apuster has almost finalized the OG beatdown and then jump out of the game.

That’s right boys and girls there is no level to low to which Dunasty will stoop in an attempt to keep the news of another smack down from reaching all you little Apusters.  But have no fear for your hero is here!  That’s right little Apusters, DirtyApu is always one step ahead of these yahooies I took a screen shot before the game was over so that all of you could relish in the victory that is Apu!

Stay tuned boy’s and girls and Apu will keep you up to date on all the dirty dealings of the opposition and all the triumphs of the Apu nation!

Until next time……. Peace

Apu

If You Mess With The Bull… You Get The Horns!

That is right all you boy’s and girl’s in Apu land… Like they say in Texas if you mess with the bull you get the Horns.  Apu give these punks the horn and made em like it.  These punks just don’t know when to stop.  Deekeye e-mails me talking a bunch of trash about returning one of my blue light specials well this girlie man obviously doesn’t know Apu don’t have a return policy. That’s right little Apuster’s you take a blue light special from Apu and you might as well get ready to tote it around for a while cause we don’t have no customer service department.

I am happy to run a special for these boys any day of the week but don’t think for a miniute Apu will let them return the favor.  These girlie men said “Apu your beating up on us cause we are killing each other”.  Well here you go boys and girls a little evidence that Apu can not only kick off in some ass against both these pucks at once but he can do it one on one too. 

All you little Apuster’s out there repeat after me… Apu winning, Keeps us grinning!!!

Until next time little Apuster’s…. Peace….V

 DirtyApu

Apu got the Mad Squabbles

That’s right Apu in the hizzy wit da Mad Squabbles.  I am back and kicking more ass than ever before.  What these punks think they doing in Apu’s hizzy?  Get out my house!!! While these two sissy’s were muff punching each other the Apuster was kicking off in their ass.  Rockets flying, shotgun blasts, Rail gun fire, and the Apuster came through like Rambo… Without a scratch. 

Thats right these boys were taking it like the French… (You know getting their ass kicked without fighting back.)  Ha Ha.  Well little Apusters once again your hero has prevailed.  I ran a blue light special these boys won’t soon forget.  Speaking of blue light specials, you can just refer to the Apuster as a K-mart radio cause I don’t play! 

 All you little Apusters out there stay tuned and watch for the next episode of the ApuFu. Thats kind of like KongFu except Apu is doing ALL the ass kicking.

 Until next time little Apusters… Peace  V…….

 DiryApu

Almost!!!

That’s right boy’s and girl’s the word for the day is “Almost”.  Can you say Almost boy’s and girl’s?  Deekeye and Dunasty Almost avoided an ass whoopin today.  They Almost avoided catching a rocket up the ass from the Apuster and they Almost got enough points to win.  The key word for all you little Apusters out there is they “Almost” did all these things.  Almost isn’t good enough to keep Apu from Fraggin that ass!! 

That is right little Apuster’s I happened upon Dunasty trying to let his Blue Light Special shine on thru but Apu stuffed that bargain back on the shelf and decided to run a special of his own.  Deekeye was winning big in the beginning and faded fast.  Then just when Dunasty thought he had it all sewn up… Alacablam!!! The Apuster layed the smack down in Apu Town.  I took them down to Jabronie street and checked them into the smack down hotel.  (Their room there is booked for the whole week!) Ha Ha

All the little Apuster’s repeat after me ”Almost Winning keeps Apu Grinning”  Ha Ha. Till next time little Apuster’s Peace V….

DirtyApu

Blue Light Special!

That’s right little Apusters, another un-advertised blue light special was run today on ass whoopins.  Dunasty said I’ll take two!!  As you can see Deekeye passed on the first but just couldn’t resist the second opportunity.  Apu loves to run Blue light specials, it just makes me feel good to offer ass whoopins at a discount to all my friends. 

I must say today’s special was filled with all kinds of goodies… Rockets, grenades, and even a few shotguns for the luck few who happened to be around when I offered the special.  I even give away a couple of wingtips when they got stuck in some asses.  (Ha Ha I didn’t want them back after where they had been.)

Hurry and get in on some real down home ass whoppins and you too could get lucky enough to happen upon one of my specials.  Now all it takes to sign up is a crisp new $100 dollar bill sent to my paypal account @ asswhoopin@dirtyapu.com.  You must be a member in order to take advantage of the blue light specials so make your reservations today.  You will immediately receive your first beat down upon payment.  Hurry while the ass whoopins are still cheap!! 

Deekeye and Dunasty Did!!!

Sad But True!!!

Yes that is right… Apu was running an unadvertised special today on Ass Whoopin’s and Dunasty decided to go for the bargain.  Sorry for all you who missed out on the special (Deekeye) but you just never know I am likely to offer one on a given day!  It’s all about being at the right place at the right time.  Thats right little Apusters… it was blue light special time today. A real two for one deal on a special ass whoopin from the Mighty Apu.  Sad but True!

Who will be the next contestant on the Ass Whoopin is right?  Johnny take it away…  Deekeye Stinkeye, Come on down.  Your the next contestant on the Ass Whoopin is right!!!!

DirtyApu

Back and Bloggin!!!

 That’s right little apusters… I’m back and kicking more ass than ever.  Just look at the latest score from a recently played game.  As you can see the Apuster was handing out a bit of “Act Right” to these yahooies that call themselves Quake players.  They are really just Quaking in there boots when the Apuster steps into the squared circle with them.  While they are getting a little better they are still no match for the great Apu!!!

Stay tuned to see Apu lights up some more Asses. 

If you would like to be a contestant on the Apu show and get your ass lit up please send $100 dollar to my paypal account and I will proceed to light up your ass just like I do these noobs. Entire day ass lightings are $1000. Apu is not responsible for feelings of extreme humiliation.

Christmas Giving

This post comes a bit belated but just to re-cap what happend before the Christmas vacation, Apu was in the giving mood so he proceeded to give a special Christmas time ass whooping to the Dunasty!  I was in such a giving mood I give him a beat down that would last all season.  I am sure his pride is still hurting.  Sammy Clause came a little early this year for the Dunasty one. 

 My only regreat is that Deekeye was AWOL as usual so he could not join in for the Christmas giving session.  Well maybe in 2007 someone will improve their skills and give the Apuster some competition.  (Or maybe not) 

Anyway, I am sure that 2007 will hold all new lows for Deekeye and Dunasty.  They will need a pry bar to get the Apuster off they ass!

Peace my Shizzle!

Bouncey Map Beat Down

 

As you can see by the score DirtyApu was stroking on all cylinders today.  While Deekeye was AWOL again, Apu give The Dunasty a beat down he won’t soon forget.  I am glad to see that at least Dunasty will come out and play.  I have been expecting him to run and hide like Deekeye but so far that hasn’t happened.  As you can see today Dunasty couldn’t even beat one of the bots. How sad!!

Well, I just don’t know what to say.  Maybe some of you out in Apu land would like to take a beat down.  If you are so inclined please feel free to post the server address here and send in you $100 dollar bill. Apu will then proceed to whip your ass like a dominatrix at an S&M Ball.

 Till next time Little Apusters. Peace, Love, the Slap!

 DirtyApu

Handing out some Act Right!

 

As you can see DirtyApu has reigned supreme one more day.  DirtyApu’s the name Ass Whipping is my game.  DirtyApu give Deekeye and Dunaster the OG Beat Down this afternoon.  I mean come on guys I need some competition.  I was kicking there ass so hard they were tasting dog shit.  I had an extreme case of kickassism and I had to unleash on these two noobies. 

 So what is DirtyApu to do? Go and find new talent?  Well, that might just be an option.  Just today a noobie walked in the door and proceeded to ask for an ass whooping from the Apuster.  Well, we just might have to load up the old Quake III game on this old boy’s computer and let him taste the shoe polish.  More to come on that.  For now, Feel the pain of Deekeye and Dunaster.  They won’t taste the turkey this Thanksgiving cause the taste of leather will be to strong. 

 Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

 DirtyApu.